Preparing for Possible Bad News

I’m not sure it’s the best way to prepare for possible bad news, but I tend to go to the worst possible scenario first. I don’t want to live in denial, and then be devastated. I’d rather think through how I would deal with really bad news, and then be grateful if it doesn’t come to pass. A case in point has been my recent vision problem.

I’d noticed the newsprint was getting blurry in the mornings, and had started rubbing my eyes a lot, thinking they were having a hard time getting cleared in the morning. Then I noticed that the sight picture on my pistol wasn’t a sharp as it should be. I figured it was just bad lighting at the range. Then, while waiting for Anna’s basketball game to start, I noticed faces weren’t as sharp as they should be across the court. For some reason I covered one eye, and then the other, and discovered that my right eye was the culprit. Once that was discovered, I started closing one eye and then the other while trying to read road signs. The left eye was clear, the right not so much.

I had had an eye exam and had gotten new glasses in February, so I went back to see if things had really changed as much as I thought. The optician was shocked by the change in just one eye, and after examining it and seeing nothing wrong in the eye itself, suggested I go to my medical doctor to see if there was a problem behind my eye.

When I went to my doctor and explained the situation, he ordered blood work and an MRI. Thinking something might be wrong behind the eye took me places no one wants to go. I started thanking God for the privilege of preaching as long as I had, and thanking Him for a great life. I prayed that He would give me the strength necessary to deal with whatever might come, in a way that honored Him and accomplished His purposes.

When I shared that with the elders, Jack said he would simply pray for healing. The next morning I remembered Jesus saying we had not because we asked not, so I covered my bases and asked. I didn’t want to hear Him say in heaven that He would have healed me, but I didn’t ask.

Whether He did or didn’t, I don’t know. But the tests all came back normal, and, contrary to the opinion of some, there is nothing wrong with my brain. I still don’t know what caused the change, but a new lens seems to be working pretty well. Whether the doctor will want to look further or not, I don’t know. All I know for sure is that I’m very thankful.

Now it’s on to another challenge; a prostate biopsy scheduled for January because of an elevated PSA.

God Bless, Rick

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